This opening paragraph is a perfect example of how coldly rational I am, given that I’m going to discuss “Happiness” in a logical way, something that isn’t always so. Generally speaking, this euphoric feeling isn’t controlled in timing or intensity [I’m going to assume that people don’t try, not that they can’t]. I refuse to let it control me so I do what I can to turn the tables around. When it comes to emotions, I try to keep myself fairly consistent and stable. I don’t get overly-excited or worried. Let’s say I found out over a cheese sandwich and cup of tea that I’ve just won the lottery. My thoughts would be…how many Lactaid pills should I take…should I also compensate for the cream in the tea or should I risk it with just one pill…what if I don’t finish my sandwich quickly enough for the first pill to work for the cream? Those would be the same thoughts in my mind if I found out that my wallet was stolen over a cheese sandwich and cup of tea. I know you all think that this cannot possibly be true – you’re right. I rarely have cheese sandwiches.
Lately, over the past months, my happiness has been getting out of control. It’s something I’ve been frowning seriously upon because my recent lack of ability in controlling and predicting it is making me uncomfortable. The reasons for the uber-state of happiness are many and varied…with the one obvious shining star being Steve.
The traditional components to a happy and successful life include: a happy relationship/family, strong and loving friendships and a well-paying and advancing career [I would throw in ‘an enlightened sense of self’]. I spoke about life’s puzzle pieces on my birthday blog back in March. For those of you who don’t remember [although I do expect that you should], I learned that the puzzle pieces are forever changing and often replaceable, but it’s the clarity of what the final puzzle would look like that is valuable [i.e. knowing what makes you happy and how you can achieve it]. So not only are the pieces all healthy and thriving [which is no small task], the clarity of my puzzle has become increasingly clearer. I see things now that I didn’t even think about before. And I couldn’t be as ridiculously happy as I am without the help of very important people.
My parents – I couldn’t have built what I did without the solid foundation they laid for me. I got to thinking about how I don’t phase when something goes wrong. Even when I was younger, after a few good naps and a few good cries, I pick myself up and come back with a vengeance. Acknowledging that I have this ability made me almost fearless. If I go for it and I make it, great! If I don’t make it, I know I’ll pick myself up and learn to do it better next time. I don’t know how exactly they helped me become who I am today, because my self-discovered maturity had a lot to do with it. But I know they definitely had a hand it in. Maybe it was how they encouraged me or pushed me to try new things – whatever it was, I’m thankful.
My teachers/coaches – There were two in high school that had a heavy hand in how I turned out. They were caring, encouraging, and among the first to treat me as their equal. I didn’t feel like a naïve or foolish kid. I felt like me. They also saw in me gifts, maturity, and potential I didn’t discover until much later. I wanted to do well in school to please them [and my parents]. My fear of letting them down became my drive to succeed. That was what I needed until I learned to do things for myself.
My friends – Steve really likes my friends [well, so do I]. He repeatedly comments on how nice they are and wonders aloud why they hang out with a mean and sarcastic grouch like me. It would have been a hurtful comment if it weren’t so true. Looking at it from that angle, I don’t know why they are my friends. I just hope that they know I care about them and would offer my help as soon as they ask for it. I’m fairly self-reliant and don’t tend to lean on people. But for the few I go to for advice, I am grateful for your honesty and opinion. And for all my friends, thanks for understanding that if I’m sarcastic and brutally honest with you, it means three things: 1) you’re close enough to me that I feel comfortable joking around with you, 2) I know you can handle it, and 3) I respect you. It may be an odd way to show respect, but believe me, I don’t waste my wit.
Stormy – I just had to include her here because she makes my heart leap for joy every time I see her [which, unfortunately, hasn’t been very often as of late].
Steve – I’m going to keep this short and sweet so no one would throw up reading this. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side. Your high praises and endless compliments are starting to make me see me the way you see me [a very good thing]. I am the envy of every girl in this world…I found an awesome guy who is funny, sweet, affectionate, and willing to cook!
