Brain Fart

What makes a good onion ring? If you ask me [and thanks for asking], a top-of-the-notch ring has two qualities. First, a light and crispy batter. Second well-cooked onions that can be easily bitten through, so as to avoid having the onion slide out and hang on your chin while leaving the empty shell of an artery-clogging ring of batter between your fingers and a guilty decision on your mind.

What are you going to do now?

It's a toughie. If you eat it, you feel bad because you're popping deep-fried batter into your mouth without much of an excuse [i.e. a pathetic little piece of onion]. And while you're trying to decide what you're going to do, the oil is dripping down your fingers. To stop your hand from being drenched in that fatty liquid, you pop the ring into your mouth and savour the delicious treat. The thought of putting that ring down never even occured to you.

What's the point of having that mini-dilemma anyway? If you made the decision to order the onion rings in the first place, you already committed to what you know as a fatty snack. Whether you have the batter with the onion or separate from it makes no difference. But somehow, having that moment's pause gives you the sense that you at least considered your health for that split second.

~sigh~ Why, lipids, why must you tease me so?

And by the way, South St. Burgers [brought to you by the New York Fries folks] makes my favourite burgers [with a choice of cool toppings like zesty ketchup, mango chutney, dijon mustard, dijon horseradish] and onion rings. The one location I know of is at the SW corner of Dufferin & Steeles close to Home Depot.