Why fake news is better than real news

Spreadsheets. Graphs. Sample calculations. Data sets. I like them all. Now I don’t like to think of myself as a freak. It’s much more flattering to think of myself as an uber-analytical left-brainer. As such, I fall pray to a heavy dependence on flawless logic [oh sweet sweet logic how I love you so].

Now that my Achilles is known, let me share with you how my brother has enjoyed exploiting this weakness of mine in the past. When we are in disagreement , I use logic to persuade him to see my point of view. This always works because you cannot argue against correct logic. Well was I wrong! That statement was based on an intrinsic assumption I didn’t realize I made until my brother shone a blinding flashlight on it. Here is an example of the type of aggravating conversations we have from time to time.

Me: …so you see now why you’re wrong.
Him: Actually, you’re wrong because you like cheese.
Me: What?
Him: Do you like cheese?
Me: Yes
Him: So you are wrong.

The assumption I made was that both parties can arrive to a consensus if logic is used on both sides. When my brother threw in complete and utter illogic, it was a knuckleball that I was not expecting. I think my brain exploded after the first of such conversations and I simply could not respond. So apparently, you can argue against logic. What you can’t do is argue against illogic.

“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” is as a good a time as you can find on television. I have only recently realized why I enjoy it so. This “fake" news show is great for two reasons. First, in his monologue, he points out all the nonsense politicians try to get away with. It’s great fun to see these leaders [who think very highly of themselves] get caught in their less-than-glorious moments. Second, in the interviews, the experts would try to present their view while the interviewer argues back with illogical points or questions. The way the experts fumble at the presence of illogic is priceless. I can only imagine how much joy it gave my brother when he did the same to me.

On the other hand, “real” news on CNN vexes me like no other television show. I avoid the channel normally but do watch it on a few occasions [against my will]. Two episodes engrained themselves in my mind.

Episode One: Coverage of Air France crash at the Pearson Airport
CTV had footage of the crashed plane and showed emergency teams trying to control the flames. The news anchor did not provide much information other than the time of the flight, the weather conditions at the time of the flight, the airline the plane belonged to, and a description of what he could see from the footage.
CNN had “experts” call in. The first was a flight attendant trainer. She described that during crashes, all lights will turn off except for the emergency lighting that points the passengers toward the emergency exits. In this situation, the flight attendants are responsible for calming the passengers and maintaining order. The second was a wind shear expert. He explained that the plane may have crashed because of disturbances in pockets of air. If the plane had been downed by wind shear, none of the passengers or staff onboard would survive.
As it turned out, wind shear was not the cause of the crash and all the passengers made it safely out of the plane within minutes of the landing. Also, no one cared about flight attendant procedures. Although the CTV report was BORING, it did not make news up! CNN painted a baseless picture of terror and death. I can’t express how upset I was when I was watching the coverage.

Episode Two: Nancy Grace
To start off, I’ve heard that she had a rough life. She became a tough no-nonsense lawyer after a personal tragedy. It is obvious that she is a smart woman. She just really sucks as a moderator. She doesn’t so much encourage different points of view as she steers the conversation toward her point of view. During a discussion on a murder trial, she scolded the psychoanalyst she invited on her show for “speculating” and not presenting facts. Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the whole point of the lady being there is to analyse and speculate [what else do psychoanalysts do?]. And of course, the usual insults were thrown at the lone panel member who disagreed with her stance. Someone needs to explain to me how this is news.

Before “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” and “Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell Them” [Al Franken book], I thought that if I wanted trusted news, I should turn to CNN. Wow thank goodness I woke up. I thought tabloids were bad for making things up. It looks likes CNN is guilty of the same.

“Fake” news versus “real” news…since you’re not getting actual news either way, you might as well stick with fake news and be entertained!