A very belated HAPPY 26TH BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!

Yes, I do realize I am months behind on this entry. I have been putting it off because I am lazy - quelle suprise. When I reflected on my 25th year, all I thought about were lovey dovey thoughts about Steve and I didn't want to make people puke or fall asleep by talking about them. So how do I address this problem? In true Stebanie style, I think about the less glorious events that took place in our relationship and what I learned from them. Although these lessons may still cause people to fall asleep, at least they won't be puking on their keyboards.

Lesson 1: Habits take time to change
When there are things about someone that bothers you (and vice versa) to a point that they requrie changing, it takes time for them to get to a point where the new habits are done automatically and subconsciously without fail. Although it sounds obvious - as most lessons in hindsight do - it really takes longer than you think. It's not that the actions themselves are difficult to execute, it's the change in mindset that is the major hurdle (or...for my Skule friends...the "limiting step"). While they're adopting the new thought process, try to stay positive by reminding yourself that they care enough to try to change parts of themsleves for you.

Lesson 2: People deal with stress differently
Some people would rather not deal with the stress after it reaches a certain point. They think that debating the difference in opinion adds on additional stress. I'm the opposite. I'm a very deliberate and logical thinker. I need to analyze what went wrong in the situation itself, in how I reacted, and in how I perceived cues from the other person. This takes a while because you can't make an accurate analysis until your emotions are calmed. Then you have to engage the other person in the evaluation because they were a big part of the stress stimulus. This is often difficult when the other person would rather not deal with the stress any longer. But, in my mind, I'd rather work it out now to prevent the same mistake from being made in the future, as vexing as it is. I haven't been able to figure out how to work things about between two people who deal with stress so differnetly. I guess that may be a lesson to be learned for my 26th year.

Lesson 3: It's tough not to make his stresses your own
When there are unfair things going on his life, it's hard to not make those your problems. Telling him and pushing him to fix those issues are all too easy. I've realized that this actually doubles his stresses. It's not that he doens't want to fix those problems, it's just that it's easier said than done because his hands are tied (i.e. the jerk is his friend, not yours). I think better support would be to listen and empathize. He knows what he needs to do in an ideal situation and doesn't really need to hear it from you. He just needs someone to listen to him so he can release the tension.

Lesson 4: I'm right
I'm pretty much right all the time. There's nothing wrong with that if you don't rub it in.

Just when you thought you got away from this entry without puking, I must share with you the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Me: Does it bother you when I'm right all the time?
Steve: No, because we're a team. So when you're right, we're right.