Here comes the bride, all stressed in white?

I attended my second wedding a few weeks ago and had the privilege of being a bridesmaid and a master [or mistress?] of ceremony. For those of you wondering, my first wedding was over two decades ago, when I was a flower-girl at my uncle’s wedding [I can’t remember anything, but I’m sure I was cute]. So the recent wedding was the first in my adult life. It was painful in a few different ways – the heels hurt my feet for a full day, the heels hurt my knees for a full week, and the crushing blow that smashed my fairy tale dreams will last a life time.

It is possible [and highly likely], that I am exaggerating. Ok fine, I’m undoubtedly blowing it out of proportion. But the difference between the reality of what weddings are like and the image conjured in my mind are so drastically different that I was terribly shocked. The amount of attention the couple paid to themselves was miniscule compared to that paid to the comfort of the guests, timing of the day’s events, decisions for unforeseeable problems, etc. It did not have a fairy tale feel to it. Now, don’t get me wrong. The ceremony was very touching [more than I thought it would be] and the pictures and speeches were great. I’m sure it looked like a fairy tale to the guests who don’t see the things that go on behind the scenes. My problem was that I was just very naïve as to what it takes to put on a show as grand as the one that took place. Although I was fully aware of the planning that went on before the wedding, I was surprised by the amount of work that went on during the day of the wedding.

So this got me thinking about what my wedding would be like. I don’t know where it’s going to be, when it’s going to be, what kind of flowers I’ll have or where I’m going to get my cake. What I have in mind are just a few rules of thumb I developed while watching and helping with the inner-workings of my friend’s wedding.
1. The bridesmaids get to choose their own matching dresses.
2. The bridesmaids get to choose comfortable matching footwear.
3. Delegate as many tasks to as many dependable people as possible.
4. If it’s not critical, don’t stress about it.
5. The day is about the couple. Don’t forget that!
6. Invite people who want to be there and who you want to be there. There is no max/min number.
7. I’d rather put more focus on food than decorations [I like the show “I do, let’s eat!” on Food network].
8. Hire a professional photographer who isn’t TOO pushy.
9. Make friends with people who play the keyboard and violins NOW [haha]. They make a big difference during the ceremony.
10. Make pockets of alone time for the couple to be by themselves to relish the day.