Happiness is yelling bingo…or whatever you prefer
Believe it or not, I spoke with someone today whose outlook was more pessimistic than mine. The discussion started off with a strong statement “I am going to marry the next person I date” [now how’s that for a conversation starter].
The blatant neglect of the required mutual consent in a marriage aside, I was anxious to hear her reasoning behind the thought. As it turned out, it wasn’t so much the actual intention of marrying the next person she dated but her pessimistic view of love and marriage that shocked me. Her belief is that love fades and dies over time so it should not be the deciding factor when choosing a husband. Something more long term such as companionship or financial stability should play a bigger role. Since this is the case, there is really no point in dating and searching for a “soul mate”. As soon as you find someone who fits the proper description, get hitched!
I think my brain just about exploded at this point, but it really shouldn’t have. Who am I to dictate and assume what people want out of relationships and marriages? I made the mistake of imposing on her what makes ME happy. If someone wants stability, then kudos to her if she can find that in her mate. Me, on the other hand, I’m a hopeless romantic [well, I hope I’m not THAT hopeless]. I look for a bunch of things but if I had to choose three, they would be: true love [partially defined by someone feeling as strongly about me as I do about them], honesty, and fierce loyalty. That’s what makes me tick and no one can judge me for it.
So whatever it is that makes you happy [as long as it doesn't hurt other people], go for it! I promise I'll try my best not to judge.
posted by ehbaba @ 12:04 PM
7 Comments:
was she older than you?
and dude, you so do not have a pessimistic outlook on life.
Good point. She is 2 years older than me and it does affect her perspective [as well as mine].
I suppose I'm pessimistic about the world generally but not about my life specifically.
Best of luck finding somebody with those qualities...does a fierce love of gummy worms count for anything? :)
Sounds like she's looking for a corporate merger, not a marriage. Even though, this is your friends point of view, I'm just thinking about the 50 % divorce rate out there. When factors such as this are used exclusively for marriage, instead of compatibility, does that equal disaster?
Ronit
This person may actually be more ‘enlightened’ than the rest of us. Imagine if corporate mergers were undertaken based on emotional responses as opposed to complementary strengths that lead to competitive feasibility. There would likely be a 50% failure rate (similar to the current divorce rate). As callous as it sounds, perhaps we should all view our potential spouses based on complementary viability.
she will maake some "lucky man" really happy, 2 years after marriage.
Poor bastard.
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